Monday, September 04, 2006

Nightmare

Today I am living a nightmare. I feel so angry. I am so hurt. I cannot stop the tears that fall. I want to rant and rage but I do not have the strength left to do so. My heart is torn and there is no way to mend it. I am so filled with sorrow and the world is a lesser place to be in. Oh it hurts, it hurts so very bad.

I sat today and held my new baby. My littlest grandson. My little Noah soon to be 2 months old. I held him for the last time. Today our baby left us and I am not able to handle this well. I want to be held, I don't want anyone to touch me. I just want to sleep and try to forget but even my dreams have me holding that precious little boy with his bright little face.

13 Comments:

Blogger Isela: Purling Sprite said...

I am so very sorry. We send comfort and love for you and your family.

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My deepest, deepest sympathies for you and your family. I pray God will give you strength through all of this.

8:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wow Mary Jean. I'm so sorry to hear this news. I can only imagine the pain that you and your family are going through. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family.
Carrina Jones

11:39 AM  
Anonymous Lauri said...

I am so sorry to hear of your lose. The past year my best friend has walked through the nightmare journey you and your family are now embarking on. There are no words to comfort this kind of pain. Allow the love of your other grandbabies to help ease the pain and to begin healing your heart.
A looming lurker.

12:39 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mary Jean, My prayers are with you & your family during this troubling time. I have been in your shoes twice. I have 2 little angels, Marianna & Robby, playing in Heavens Gardens with your little grandson. Just know that one day you will see him again. My sis is terminal & she tells me that when she dies she will be rocking my babies in Heaven. She is 33 with the mind of a 5 yr old. From the mouths of babes...

Please know I will be thinking of you

GUSSY

8:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dearest Mary Jeanne,

Having gone through a similar experience twice in the last 18 months the most recent 2 weeks ago, my heart aches for your loss and pain.
There aren't any words that can help. Know you are in my thoughts. I am sending you a a tight loving hug from one woman to another.

8:54 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Mary Jeanne,

My heart aches for you, and your family. I know that there are no words, no actions nor comfort that anyone can bring you at this time. Please know that I have you in my prayers and thoughts. I pray that the Lord gives you comfort, and wraps His loving arms around you and your loved ones.

Bety Antonio

11:23 AM  
Blogger Debbie said...

Mary Jeanne,

I can not even begin to tell you how sorry I am.

2:30 PM  
Blogger Debbie said...

Mary Jeanne,

I can not begin to tell you how sorry I am for your loss.

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Kate said...

Please feel my arms around you hugging you, and the tears I share with you at this time of grief. My prayers are with you and your family. I pray that God will send you special angels to comfort each an every one of you and to help heal your broken hearts.
God bless

6:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mary Jean,

I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling. I am so very sorry for your loss. Take the time you need to begin the healing of your heart. It sounds like you have a large and loving family to surround you with love. Please know that there are lots of people that you've never met that care very deeply about you and your
loss. I am one of them and I am sending you all the prayers, love and comfort that I can send to you and your family.

Christine

11:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mary Jean,

My Most heartfelt sympathies for you and your
Family. Words can not express the feelings I have
when I read about your sorrow. I understand only as
mother who stood near your shoes. I pray the pain lessens and yet I know the pain only fades a small amount even with time. You will breathe again without the jolted jagged edge. Hold your family tight! You are in our prayers!

Katrina and family

3:33 PM  
Anonymous Michelle B. said...

Mary Jeanne,
My heart goes out to you and your family. Three years ago my sister in law and brother in law lost their baby daughter. The smallest of comforts is that they are now in heaven watching over all of us.
Best Wishes and Much Love from a Fellow Rake/Loom Knitter

11:06 AM  

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