TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Mary
Birthday:	October
Birthplace:	California
Current Location:	Oregon
Eye Color:	Brown
Hair Color:	Silver
Height:	5'2"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right
Your Heritage:	Mixture
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Sandals
Your Weakness:	Chocolate covered orange slices
Your Fears:	Losing family
Your Perfect Pizza:	Taco
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	More crafting
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	Rarely use those
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Get up carefully
Your Best Physical Feature:	Hair
Your Bedtime:	11pm
Your Most Missed Memory:	Noah
Pepsi or Coke:	Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	Both
Single or Group Dates:	None, I'm happily married
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Coffee
Do you Smoke:	My bad habit
Do you Swear:	Are kids around?
Do you Sing:	Yes, badly but I do it
Have you Been in Love:	Am now
Do you want to go to College:	Been wouldn't mind going back
Do you want to get Married:	Am for 26 years
Do you belive in yourself:	Yes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	Yes
Do you think you are Attractive:	No much, getting old
Are you a Health Freak:	No, but I use natural herbs
Do you get along with your Parents:	Both passed on
Do you like Thunderstorms:	Sometimes
Do you play an Instrument:	No
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	Yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Yes, presciption
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	I am on a lifelong date
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yes, for lunch
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	No
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Never
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Not me
In the past month have you been Dumped:	No, but my trash can has
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Not for a very long time
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Nope, that's not nice
Ever been Drunk:	Yes
Ever been called a Tease:	Once upon a time, just say no
Ever been Beaten up:	Been hit, not beaten
Ever Shoplifted:	Nope, refer back to stealing stuff
How do you want to Die:	I don't want to
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	I got it, mommy and grandma
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Your Animal Personality

Your Power Animal: Eagle Animal You Were in a Past Life: Whale You are active, a challenger, and optimistic. Hard-working, you are always working towards a set goal.

The Animal Personality Test

Your Personality Profile

You are elegant, withdrawn, and brilliant. Your mind is a weapon, able to solve any puzzle. You are also great at poking holes in arguments and common beliefs. For you, comfort and calm are very important. You tend to thrive on your own and shrug off most affection. You prefer to protect your emotions and stay strong.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

Quizes

I found these quizes on Concetta's myspace and they were a welcome distraction from working this morning. I had to work all day into the night yesterday doing some catch up, then again this morning. Wed was spent in a trip to Klamath Falls to get my sisters dependent id renewed at Kingsley Field Air Base. Wow, such a long drive for 10 minutes to redo the id. I was really supprised that security was a lax as it was. They checked my sis's id, my hubbies ODL and that was it. We were in and gone in that 10 minutes. Leaving the post persoanl only waved at us. I thought we would have to go through more to get in. I was wrong.

Well, I did manage to do a bit of shopping when I got back to Medford. Mostly grocery, but I did get a knitting book, Big Book of Knitting by Katharina Buss. Pretty neat book. Has some things in it I would like to learn. I picked it up at JoAnn's but probably could have gotten it over at Barnes & Noble, I just didn't want the extra stop since we were all so tired. That drive to Klamath Falls was not only long, there is tons of road work that slows the drive. At least we only had one 15 minute delay waiting for a pilot car going over, but coming back we only had to wait about 5 minutes.

This is the first time I have ever been to Klamath Falls. Wow, we went Hwy 140, and when you crest the hill, the view of the lake is so beautiful. I love big bodies of water. We only have the little old Rogue River here, but that is still pretty.

Well it is back to work. I have to get into the shop to do draw day for everyone, but need to finish a few things here first.

Oh we got some pictures of the lake and I will try to get a chance to post one later.

Birth Month

Your Birth Month is October

You are a natural leader who is able to stand up when no one else can. Strong and powerful, you tend to overshadow those around you. Your soul reflects: Gratitude, comfort, and true love Your gemstone: Tourmaline Your flower: Cosmos Your colors: White and yellow

What Does Your Birth Month Mean?

Cute Animal Quiz

You Are A: Turtle!

These reptiles, famous for their hard outer shells, spent their days roaming for food and relaxing in the water. As a turtle you are not very speedy, nor are you soft and cuddly. You aren't much of a sprinter, but you are quite tough. You also happen to be as cute as you are fascinating.

You were almost a: Bear Cub or a Pony
You are least like a: Chipmunk or a SquirrelCute Animal Quiz!

How Evil Are You?

You Are 28% Evil

A bit of evil lurks in your heart, but you hide it well. In some ways, you are the most dangerous kind of evil.

How Evil Are You?

Cat or Dog

You Are: 30% Dog, 70% Cat

You and cats have a lot in common. You're both smart and in charge - with a good amount of attitude. However, you do have a very playful side that occasionally comes out!

Are You More Cat or Dog?

OUR BABY NOAH

Noah Loranzo Mustain

seven weeks old, of Grants Pass, died Monday, September 4, 2006 at Three Rivers Community Hospital.
A furneral service was at 2:00pm, Friday September 8, 2006 at Hull & Hull Chapel. Interment followed at Granite Hill Cemetery.

Noah was born July 7, 2006 in Grants Pass. He enjoyed trees, leaves, nature, and the playfulness of his brothers. With the help of his father's tickles, he had only recently mastered the giggles.



I have tried over the last few days to post again, but it has been impossible. I had a little draft and finally published it. It says so little of what has happened. I think I just rambled but I don't care. It is not the words that are important.

Yesterday we buried our Noah. Today my eyes leak on a constantly. I cannot seem to stop it. I need to not be doing this as I have two of my grandsons and they do not need more of this. My Carter is with his brown grandma today. He needed some time away from everything. This is hard on a child just under three. Mom and almost stepdad brought my other grandson down for the weekend and so he could say his goodbyes. Today mom and dad are taking the first hours of just being alone with each other. They really need this. So I have both Trenton and Payton for the day.

We have a very long road ahead of us. Payton is suffering more then the other children. The others have been able to cry and say their goodbyes. It has been much harder with Payton. Payton says he does not want to be a whiner and so will not let the tears go. Yesterday he told us that it is his fault that Noah died. He says he should have known that Noah was sick so he could save him. Oh how tragic that this little six year old has been suffering this in his mind and heart all week long, not able to or wanting to express it to any of the rest of the family. It makes me so sad that I was not there during this time of heartache for him. Today I refuse to let mention of anything to bother him. He needs time to heal.

I was wrong, oh so wrong. I did not have my last chance to hold Noah. We were allowed to hold him all day yesterday. His mother even held him all the way through the ceromonies, right up to the time to go. She was able to dress him along with her mother, and I brought the boys early to say their goodbyes. That way mom, and both grandma's were able to be there for the support they needed. At first when the two little ones came in they could not come near Noah. They both stood back and watched me hold their little brother. It was so sad to see the looks on their faces. Carter finally came to see him but not Payton. It took quite a while before Payton would come near.

Crystal found a site for his final resting place that is so peaceful. It is an older place that is little kept except for what familys want to do. Most of the place is left to itself but there is something about this place. The trees are left to be natural, it is quite wooded. He is at the very top of the hill under a tree. Oh how he loved to watch the tree outside of the front of the house. He would watch through the window, and from the porch. I would often take him there to stare at the trees. Now he lives with his own. The view of the mountains surrounding his little hill is breath taking.

We took the boys to the park to give them some relaxing place. We felt that the three boys would need some where that was not going to stress them more then what this whole week had. Payton finally decided to leave with his cousin and family, Andrew with a friend who was there to help him through this time, and Crystal with family to help her. I kept the littlest one and the biggest one. My other girl had her hubby bring their two for playpals. Austin took Carter under wing and oh did they play. Trenton found a new friend in Ian. Ian has a wireless gameboy, as did Trenton. Something was smiling on us for Ian's game was the same as the one Trenton was playing. Entertainment began as they explored each others games.

We stayed very late at the park. Carter was wore out and ready for bath and bed. Trenton stayed the night with dad and Crystal and was off to do the same. Grandma was worn out with all the grands in one day. My Elizabeth has now decided that grandma isn't such a bad person and worthy of her hugs and kisses.


Trenton

Payton

Carter

My boys. Combine the three of these and you can see what Noah would have grown up to be as he looked at times like each.

Yesterday I was numb. Mostly numb. I had Mason all day, that's my one year old grandson. My daughters Trina and Athea (Mason's mom) stayed the day with Crystal. They took her to look at burial sites, check out and decide on all the little things that needed to be done. Mason was my life saver.

Today again I had Mason all day. I was not in as good a shape today. I can hardly stop the tears from falling. I did not want to upset Mason so I went through many ups and downs. My son, Micah was a dream today. He helped me watch Mason, feed him and entertain him.

I haven't seen my other boys since Monday. The last time I saw them was at the house when I went to pick up my car. My husband drove me from the house to the hospital. I have talked with both Carter and Payton today several times. Carter gets so excited every time he talks with me. I hear him yelling at the other people around that he talked to grandma.

Can you imagine, I did not have a single picture of Noah. Everyone had taken so many pictures but I had gotten none. Athea heard me say that I didn't have a picture and today she brought me some. I do hope she understands when I tell her that this is the biggest help I have had. I can now have him here with me all day. I have put them up where I can see him and know that he is here with me. I have his smiling face in front of me right now. It gives me a lift that I cannot explain to anyone.

I have been so overloaded with all the feelings coming my way. I need the quiet I am having tonight. Shaun, my husband, and Micah are out shopping. They are to be pall bears on Friday, and they went to purchase something special to honor their grandson/nephew.

I sit here with the first quiet I have had in days and I feel sad but more then that I feel such anger. I have to say that the officer that was present when I arrived to take care of my boys was so rude to me. He made me feel like I had done something terrible. He told me I wasn't allowed to see my other boys, I wasn't allowed to go to the hospital and he almost ordered me to go home and wait for a call. He dared to say to me that I wasn't needed. I was to go home and wait for a call from him. Well, that didn't work. I just looked at him and said I was there for my boys. Then he tells me that I cannot see them. That didn't work either. I saw and gave them their grandma hug and sent them back in the house to play with the neighbor children. Since the neighbors were fine with the boys staying with them, I decided I was just going to the hospital. Again the officer said I couldn't, I was to just go home and wait. Not a chance of that. So he tells me that he cannot stop me from going to the hospital but that I really wasn't wanted there, again. I finally decided to stay at the neighbors when they told me an officer was going to interview my boys. Not a chance that this could happen without someone they knew and loved there with them. She, the lady officer, was quite nice and she was gentle with the boys.

Due to others having trouble with the same officer there is now an investigation into his actions. What I want is sensitivity training for him. He needs to know that he could do such great harm to a family suffering the way we did. He also puts himself and others in danger getting between a family and a child. This same officer tried to prevent my son from going to the hospital. In his eyes it was more important that he get a full in depth report, instead of my son being with his baby. When my boy tried to leave to go to the hospital with the Noah's mom, the officer went so far as to tell Andrew he couldn't leave, right to the point of grabbing his gun and putting hand out to stop Andrew. He did not draw the gun but he did put hand to grab it. A superior officer put a stop to that nonsense. A little man with big ideas of who and what he thinks he is. That must stop now. He must learn that a family in distress in not always a bunch of criminals, just people who are hurting.

It took me days to of writing to get this far in this posting. For a while now it has just sat in draft. I thought about just deleting it but then I decided not to. So many messages from my group members have held me up for days with all the support I have gotten. I feel all the caring from everyone and that has been such a boost to my broken heart. So I will post this and then update on out little man later today.

Nightmare

Today I am living a nightmare. I feel so angry. I am so hurt. I cannot stop the tears that fall. I want to rant and rage but I do not have the strength left to do so. My heart is torn and there is no way to mend it. I am so filled with sorrow and the world is a lesser place to be in. Oh it hurts, it hurts so very bad.

I sat today and held my new baby. My littlest grandson. My little Noah soon to be 2 months old. I held him for the last time. Today our baby left us and I am not able to handle this well. I want to be held, I don't want anyone to touch me. I just want to sleep and try to forget but even my dreams have me holding that precious little boy with his bright little face.

Just an update on things

Isn't this just beautiful. My hubby took this picture on a fishing trip last weekend with out oldest boy. I have this as my desktop picture now. I have taken to sitting here working on a loom or needle swatch, with this as my window. It looks so inviting on my 17" screen. This is Four Mile Lake in Oregon, way up in the mountains. This use to be a very nice quiet place to go but it has been discovered. It is no longer peaceful. Too bad. He and the son left early due to all the loud blasting competing music. He said with so many people it wasn't a nice place to fish anymore.

First since it has been so long since I updated this blog, I want to let you know how the hip problem is going. I finally switched off of any of those stupid meds the doc wanted me taking. They just were not helping and the possible side effect of them scared me. I would like my heart to stay as it is and not impacted by some nasty thing they wanted me taking. I sure am tired of quacks acting like they know everything and hiding the truth from us. There is more to natural then the medical industry (and yes is it an industry, a huge expensive to us one), wants you to know. A little research and I am now taking all natural stuff to help. I think I mentioned the Valerian Root and the Curcuminods, plus MSM, but I have now added a catalyst water to the mixture. I am currently only using it as a local spray for the leg and hip but believe it or not it works. I developed a rash that just was not going away with any store bought salve. Now a couple of sprays a day with just water and less then two days it is almost gone. Amazing to me that's for sure. We also bought a colloidal silver machine. Did you know that before the days of antibiotics that silver was given for infections? Interesting reading on what silver can do for you. We thought why not give it a try.

So what's on my loom and needles. I haven't had lots of time for sitting and working on projects. I am working a bit more on a loomed afghan for my grandson. That's the scraps of red that I am doing it in. It is getting close to being done, I think I am about 3/4's done with it. I need to get it done soon.

Beyond that I am playing with a small project. I just finished a swatch on a size 11 needles that is called the Palladian stitch. The needle version turned out really nice. Now I am working on the loomed version. Even though I have done several conversions for people in needle to loom stitches, those have only been a line or two here and there. This is a complete pattern converted over to the loom. I have written it out for myself and have now finished one set of rows and am into a second set. It just isn't big enough yet to tell how close it comes to the needle knitted look. I hope to get more time for working on it today.

I am finding that it is a bit harder to do the loomed version. On the needle it is easy to see if you have done a purl or a knit stitch. Not so with the stitches I am using on the loom. So I wind up having to frog rows because I let myself become lulled in keeping an eye on what I am doing. You know, people talking to you, that show on TV, the phone ringing. LOL

The stitches I am using on the loomed version are the purl and the knit stitch. I thought about using the e-wrap but that would not make the swatch stitches be the same as the needle stitches. I have found that using the method that has been posted to yahoo groups for doing the knit stitch, where you pull the yarn down through the existing stitch to create a loop (as for the purl but from the top not bottom), then lifting the stitch off to the back of the peg, and placing the loop back on the peg, to be working quite well. Doing the knit stitch in this fashion has prevented that possible tightening of the stitch so that on further rows it becomes impossible to knit off the stitches.

There is as I have found another advantage to doing the knit stitch as I just mentioned. That other advantage is in frogging a stitch. It is not the easiest thing to frog the knit stitches on the loom, that is till now. Now since I am frogging so much more I discovered a plus to making the knits and purl stitches the way I am doing them. If I grab the stitch on the peg and pull it off, and as I am removing it giving a little tug forward brings the old stitch popping up so that it can just be pulled right back on the peg. My current swatch is 29 pegs and I can frog the entire row in under a minute. Yea that fast.

The bummer is that I cannot remember the first person who mentioned this method or if that person was even the one to discover this way to do the knit stitch (often called the flat knit stitch). I wish I knew who did discovered it to say a proper thanks. So I have to just give a general thanks to you if you get a chance to read this. You have opened up a whole new door for me to explore from your little way to do this stitch (and to those who would be interested, at first it seems slow but you soon pick up speed and you can knit quite fast with it). For those of you who want to check this method of doing the knit stitch out, Isela, from decoraccentsinc.com, also learned how to do the stitch from those who told us, and she made one of her little videos to show others how to do this. Isela is great with her little videos. It just isn't her fault that by the time the videos have come around I have already had to learn from the written word. Still that's good, if I can continue to figure things out that way, then I won't be handicapped by having to have a visual to do things. Ah those little things that make things easy can also be a downfall if you learn to rely on them too much.

Today is the party for my grandson Mason's birthday. He turned one last Tuesday. I can hardly believe that he is already that old. Time sure has flown. His mom has planned a pool party for the kids. Oh just a little blow up pool at the park (she got prior permission), so the kids can play in a wading pool. It might be a good thing today as we are again expecting high temps, not into the triple numbers (at least I hope not), but very close. As the heat is still bothering me a lot I probably won't stay for the whole afternoon. I hate this, I have always been a lover of the hot summer months. Now I find myself wishing for the cold winter days.

My other new baby is now almost two months old. Noah is being a very stubborn baby. He has been a nursing baby but mom went back to work so part of the day he has to have a bottle. He really doesn't mind taking the bottle as long as mom is the one giving it to him. With others he pushes the nipple out of his mouth and just cries. This is a very difficult time of life for him. He is growing at a very fast rate. Even the nurse at his doctors office still cannot believe how fast he put the weight on. He is almost 12lbs now, that's over the 6lbs 3oz he left the hospital at. We just hope that he soon gives into the taking of the bottle from others. I hate hearing his cry. It is the sound of a baby in such distress. He has now also taken to whimpering and that is even worse then the full screaming crying he does.